8. Daniel: the importance of perspective

This is something of a part II to the Day 7 post about Dianne.  Daniel is another great voice of reason in my life.  His gift to me has been the reminder of perspective.

As previously noted, I can be a bit dramatic.  Emphasis: a bit.  I get dramatic when things go wrong.  Things like work, life, decisions, travel, men (boys?), exercise, friends, family, indignities, injustices, money, boots ... whatever is taking up my current space.  I get myself twisted up over pedantic details that no one cares about but me.  I play out all kinds of scenarios based on what ifs - usually about things that have already happened, things I can't change but lament anyway.  I then over-analyze (there's that word again):  "If only I hadn't (or had) .....", "What was I thinking?", "How could I have done that?" "Why I am so stressed out about this?!"  You get the idea.

It's a waste of time, energy, and emotional stock, but this is my default in response to many an embarrassing moment, regrettable decision, stupid mistake, or revelation of hindsight clarity.

In said twist, I call Daniel.  In a calm voice, he reassures me with words like "well, it was always going to be that way, wasn't it?" or "anyone in your position would feel that way, right?" or "this isn't really going to matter in the long run, is it?"  His words fit the scenario; they are logical and direct, and like a pin, they send an instant wave of deflation into my balloon of panic.  Whenever I need talking off the ledge, it's Daniel.  

These are simple words, but they're not what I expect, especially from a man ( ! ).  I expect we will go about formulating a plan to fix my life, to minimize the damage.  We will develop action plans for future similar situations.  We will prospectively solve any issue that will ever affect my life in all the years to come, forever.  

But no.  Rather, with these straightforward words, he calmly introduces perspective, which almost instantly has me take a deep breath and a step back.  The gift here is that I'm getting better at doing this on my own.  But I often need some reminding, as my first instincts still default to the panic button.  Daniel's voice in my head has me take that deep breath and that step back that allows me to see the situation with perspective.  From someplace other than the ledge.