Saturday, January 18, 2014

13. My Mom: what the heart of a giver looks like

The giving lobe in my mom's brain never sleeps.  This is a woman who can't not help if help is needed.  She sees a hole of need, and plugs it with her gifts, her time, her generosity.

She's been suffering - for years with painful afflictions in her feet, and most recently with newly-diagnosed lupus.  She aches and is tired and sometimes can hardly walk by the end of the day, often has trouble using her hands in kitchen tasks, is exhausted from the inability to sleep.  I can't imagine her daily plight.  But seriously, nothing stops this woman.  

She makes regular, on-going commitments - to make dinner for the youth group at church every week, to host the annual luncheon for a benefit walk for the charity of friends with a disabled daughter, to have weekly afternoon 'camp' for a family of dear friends with four kids to give the parents a break, to lead the charge on an annual church-wide fellowship dinner and activity evening at Christmas time ... to give just a sampling.  And if someone is in need (surgery, loss of a loved one, house under construction, the list goes on ...), my mom is the first one at the door, full meal of multiple courses - lovingly made and carefully packaged with detailed instructions - in hand.

These aren't just meals and occupiers of time.  They are a meticulously curated set of dietary restrictions and preferences, creative and thoughtful activities, gifts prepared with great care and great love.  

New to town, no family nearby?  You'll be having Christmas at our house.  And Thanksgiving.  And weekly dinners. 

Besides the time and planning and care that go into these gifts, the expense is not insignificant.  And that's another thing.  While she's never said it to me quite in these words, she lives her life as if to announce that any money she has really isn't hers.  It's been entrusted to her ... to give away.  Her generosity to such things as friends and church members in need, sponsored children, christmas gift drives for underprivileged kids, ministry support ... again, the list goes on.  A commonly accepted guideline within the church is to give away 10% of the gifts with which God has bestowed us.  The percentage of money that my parents give away far exceeds this, and it's never a second thought.  Not to mention the (ahem) assistance they are giving to one unnamed blogger while she is in graduate school; can't walk out of their house without being loaded down with groceries, prepared food, small things I have previously mentioned I might like, or "here's $20 - so you can get a haircut."  Ok, that last one might be motivated by something other than generosity ... 

I could go on (and on and on) but I'll wrap it here.  The great gift my dear mom has given me has been bestowed to me through the vehicle of experiencing the gifts - both tangible and intangible - she has given to so many throughout her life.  These gifts of generosity, hospitality, care, attention to detail, and the giving of herself have been an incredible example to me my whole life.  While I'll never live up to it, I can always aspire; but the truth is, no one has the heart of a giver like my mom.

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