Kathleen and I have been friends since high school - by senior year, inseparable. Most stories I relayed to her back then - invariably about boys or bitchy high school girls - took place in school, or at parties, or football games, or the beach, and we were usually there together. The stories didn't need background - who was standing where, what I was wearing, the dynamics of the event; Kathleen was already there and was well-acquainted with the players involved.
Then came college - we were separated! Now stories required details! She didn't know the people I knew, she wasn't at the same parties, she didn't have handle on the dynamics. So of course I had to explain them to her! In an inordinate amount of detail. With drawings and re-enactments and minutia no one cared about but me.
This has become a running joke between us - whenever I hear myself slipping into the realm of the only-relevant-to-me, I pull myself back. I remember Kathleen laughing hysterically at the scenarios I would map and that the color of that girls boots or the Giants hat that guy was wearing might - just might! - not make a difference to the overall story.
I have since reined it in. When I do occasionally feel myself slipping into crazy-detail-land (Wait - what was that guy's father's neighbor's name? It doesn't matter to the story!), I check myself. And in fact sometimes go the other extreme, much to the frequent consternation of my family.
Kathleen's influence of not getting hung up on the details has had application in many other (slightly more important) aspects of life. She's a big picture person - when weighing pros and cons, I will agonize over all aspects, all details, all possibilities. She's quick to strike the extraneous ones from the equation and encourage me to focus on the aspects that will actually make a difference. Small lifestyle details can be adapted to; big picture items are the ones that have the potential to change our lives. Dismissing the trivialities that can cloud a larger decision is simply the better part of wisdom. What's the big picture and how does narrowing the scope of analysis help to arrive at an unencumbered decision?
When I start to get hung up on the details - whether telling a story or making a major life decision - her laughter inside my head reminds me to keep the important things important, and don't get hung up on the details.
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