6. Shelby: "You picked the wrong one."

I am a bit stubborn. I know - brand new information. My stubbornness sometimes serves to cloud my judgement. Also, I'm a lousy judge of character on initial meeting - I often get it wrong; there are quite a few examples of this.

A few years ago, I found myself in a new situation, with a bunch of people I didn't know, who were all already well-acquainted with each other. Everyone was cordial, with requisite introductions. But there was one girl there, Karen - I felt like we were going to hit it off. She seemed cool, funny, fun, smart. Shortly after I met her, she was looking for someone to get a bite with one day. She asked everyone around me - no one could make it. I was sitting right there the entire time. She proceeded to loudly complain with witty self-deprecation, to anyone listening, that no one wanted to have lunch with her. I'm right here! I thought. She must not like me. I must not be cool, funny, fun, or smart enough for her to want to be friends with me. The failure is clearly mine.

I tell this story to Shelby. I'm laughing, but also sort of incredulous. I tell her that I had been sure Karen and I were going to be fast friends, so was feeling like the little girl not welcome at the lunch table with the cool kids. Without missing a beat, Shelby advises, "you picked the wrong one."  You have chosen ... poorly.    

Well, but no. She's really cool - I'm telling you, she's great.  Again, "you picked the wrong one." Not wanting to perpetuate this disagreement, I dismissed Shelby's theory. I was sure I was right.

Karen turned out to be one of the worst people I have ever met. Materialistic, duplicitous, and condescending are the highlights; the list goes on. I quickly ceded; Shelby was right. I had indeed picked the wrong one.

These words have stayed with me. The lesson is that just because someone isn't interested in my company doesn't necessarily indicate a failure on my part. Where in the past I may have been quick to assume I wasn't <fill in the blank> enough, I now remember Shelby's words and consider that, in whatever the situation, I just may have picked the wrong one.