4. My Dad: the importance of encouragement and always asking

My dad.  I adore him.  He is the most encouraging person in my life.  He sends me these little notes telling me how proud he is of me when he sees something I've done, reads something I've written, hears about some (small) accomplishment or another.  He's very thoughtful in these comments and clearly has a genuine interest and concern for the details of my life.

When I return from a trip, even if he's gotten regular updates, he still wants me to sit down and tell him everything ... the small details, how it felt, what it was like, my thoughts about it all.  He's interested, thoughtful, and soaks it all in.  

No matter how often I see him or talk to him, he never stops telling me:  "I miss your cute face."  It sets firmly, deeply in my soul.  When I do see him, he often stops me from walking by, takes my shoulders and hugs me, asking me quietly in my ear how my life is, am I happy, if I'm ok.  He worries about me. It's really incredibly sweet and never ceases to really touch my heart.    

I, on the other hand, can be an emotional iceberg, so sometimes shake it off, tell him I'm fine and not to worry.  He doesn't really need to worry - I am fine. But I also don't tell him how much I appreciate his asking and his care. 

My friend Joey, upon my telling her of this recently, said to something to the effect of:  "yeah, good luck finding a guy if that's what he's up against."  It's true.  My dad's gift for this kind concern and genuine interest in my life is not easy to find elsewhere, but it's become so important to me.  

While I don't always tell him, I think often about how much my dad loves me, and appreciate so much that he always asks.  Even when I shirk it off and assure him, with simplicity, that I'm just fine, he reminds me that, no matter the reaction, always encouraging and always asking are foundational components to a relationship that matters.  It would be easy to feel unappreciated and simply stop.  But his persistence teaches me that regardless of the icy reaction, the lesson is to keep encouraging and keep asking those we love, as we never know how our care and concern affects those on the receiving end.